No Means No… Really

This is not a post about stopping when your partner says ‘no… I don’t want to have sex, push forward, move on, or whatever’.  That can be handled in another post.

This is about when you’re hitting on someone, trying to pick them up, etc. and they are not interested.  It’s sad to say, but it’s true.  Sometimes, the person who you are chatting it up with, just won’t be interested in you.  Don’t take it personally.  Just because a total stranger doesn’t think you’re their type doesn’t mean that things are hopeless for you.  It just means you haven’t found the right total stranger.  Dust yourself off and try again.

Really the issue in question here is what do you do when the person you’re trying to impress says they’re not interested?  Honestly, a nice ‘thank you for being so honest’ will go further than pushing.  Once you start pushing, you become a bother.  In some cases, you can even become considered hostile – then you’ll be leaving via bouncer or police – and nobody wants that.

I was hanging out at our local karaoke club, where I was a regular.  I was having a introverted night and just wanted to be around friends, listening to them having a good time, and read a book.  We all had those nights sometimes, and nobody thought anything of it.

A new guy, who I have dubbed as Prison Guy walked in.  He had already tried to pick me up, and I turned him down.  I said, “Look, you seem like a really nice guy.  But, I’m just not interested.  I’m not going to be interested because I don’t want to be interested.  So, why don’t you go and hit on someone else, because you’ll actually have a shot there.”  I thought that was complete.  Nice enough, but not too nice that he would have hope… and blunt. 

He didn’t miss a beat.  He looked at me and said, “Okay.  Can I have your phone number?  I’ll call you when you’re in a better mood.”

In the end, he damn near got slugged.  I didn’t give him my number and you’re now reading about him.


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