There are times when you know you’re going are going to take the relationship to the next level. You and your partner have discussed it… or it’s more spontaneous. But, one way or the other, you know that it is going to happen.
Awkward as we can be at times, this is not the time to get involved in deep conversation, gossip about friends, or insult your partner. This guy has no other title than Stupid. I don’t usually like that word. Generally, people who tell me that something is stupid is regaled with a long shpeal about how it’s just stupid because they don’t understand. This guy gets named Stupid because no matter how many people I tell the story to, they don’t get it and call him… you guessed it… stupid.
Stupid and I had almost dated when I was in college. Years passed and we wound up back as friends. After a time, we started seeing each other. After a time, we decided our relationship was ready to progress to the next more physical stage.
That night, it was eminent. It was going to happen. Suddenly, he paused and took a long look at me. After a moment he said, “Wow you really have porked out.”
‘What now?’ I thought, certain that I couldn’t have heard that correctly. So, I gave him another shot. “Excuse me?” I asked.
He looked at me seriously and said, “Well you said you had gained weight, but I couldn’t tell in the dress you were wearing. Now I can really see it and… wow… yea.”
It did not happen that night.
Nobody should be shocked by the fact that things stopped there. Insulting your partner is not the way to go about that. And, guys, gals, differently socialized… when a lady says, “What now?” she heard you. She knows exactly what you just said. She is giving you a chance to FIX IT.
Now, incase you are wondering… when he had first gotten to know me, I was 5’3 and weighed 95lbs. That night in question, I was still the same height, but 115lbs.
He and I have not spoken since. I hear that he’s about, a fringer in the same circles, but I don’t need to see him again.
Same goes for you. If you find yourself in the position to take your relationship to whatever that next level is – do not hamstring yourself.