A little piece of advice: Sid the Sloth, from Ice Age, is not the fellow to get your dating tips from. He’s fine for comic relief – and even the occasional, accidental flash of brilliance. But, the guy isn’t bright. And, he’s not smooth. And, you won’t seem bright or smooth if you start quoting him… especially if the person you’re trying to impress has seen the movie and recognizes the line.
I was hanging out at the karaoke club, where I had become a regular. Most of the other participants were either dating or married, but it was a good time with good hearted people. And, there was a bonus to their being attached – no uncomfortable flirtations. It was the perfect place to go and unwind after a long day at work.
Reclined with a water (I don’t often part-take in alcohol), I was watching our local celebrity, The Chew Man (may he rest in peace). He was a kind hearted man in his 80s, who loved music, loved to sing music, and loved to do old timey dance. He made certain to go up to each new person – and sing before them, if they were nervous.
A young, well built man – who I’ll call Prison Guy, based on his choice of tattoos – wandered in. He looked around, ordered two beers and came over to where I was sitting.
Ever the friendly person, I said hello, but declined the alcohol. He was quite put out. After he put down my friends, as what I can only assume was his attempt at humor, he looked at me and said, “Well you’re good looking and I’m good looking, so we should get married and have children.”
“What?” I asked, completely shocked. Who says that line an hour after meeting someone?
He then changed his tactic. I think… when he said, “From the moment I saw you across the room, I knew you were the girl for me. You complete me.” As he said the last sentence, he made a little heart with his hands – which is what tipped me off to the Ice Age – Sid the Sloth reference.
I very politely – though bluntly – turned him down in no uncertain terms. Well, no uncertain terms to me. But, those are other stories.
Which brings me to another point: No Means No… Really.