Struggling Against You is the Same as No

You know, there are certain things that I feel like I shouldn’t have to write.  There are certain things that I feel like everybody knows and nobody would be so stupid as to do.  But, every time I think this, I have another Stupid situation.

Folks, let me make this perfectly clear, if someone decides to share their space with you whatever happens inside that space must be mutually wanted.  Forcing, coercing, guilting, or otherwise trying to sway the other person to doing what you want them to do – when they don’t want to – is not a good thing.  This is a power play and it shows that you don’t really care about that person, only about the pleasure you will feel when they do whatever it is you are trying to force.

The same goes for placing their hands where you want them.

Again, if the activity is mutual, go for it.  But, if the person does not seem interested or is playing coy, don’t just move their hands.  You are not only taking the control away from that person, but you are being rude.  Perhaps they didn’t want to say no and ruin the mood, maybe they’re too scared, or maybe they have other things on their mind.  Whatever the reason, they are deciding (in a non-verbal way) what they want to do with their hands. That is their choice to make, not yours.

Also, if you do move their hands and they move their hands away from that spot.  THAT MEANS NO.  That does not give you the permission to then press or otherwise try to persuade them to doing what they obviously do not want to do.

In addition, should you continue to try to move their hands to do what you want them to do, expect to be yelled at, swatted, hit, or otherwise pushed away.  And, under no situation, should you try to manhandle their hands to get your way.  That is unacceptable.  Period. End of story.

They are non-verbally saying NO.  If it was a verbal conversation, you would have asked a question, they answered (said no), and you would then have the responsibility of dealing with the rejection.  If you care about the person, you should respect their decision.  If you don’t respect them, you shouldn’t be in that situation to begin with.


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