Online dating has taken the world by storm. A world where distance used to keep people from dating new people has now been made smaller through technology. According to Statistic Brain, over 40 Million people in the United States have tried online dating, of which only 17% resulted in marriage. But, this isn’t about the effectiveness of online dating. This is about your goal as an online dater.
In my experience, dating is the primary goal. Certainly some people want marriage with kids and others companionship, but they all want to date. In that vain, it amazes me how people talk to the people who they are trying to pick up.
For example, my profile – no I won’t tell you where I am listed – states that I am a business professional, who is in school and trying to change my life with my research. I make it clear that I don’t mind being single, but would like to spend the adventure of life with someone. In sort, I come across as intense and intellectual. While I understand that this limits the amount of people who will talk to me, those who do tend to be more on par with what I’m looking for. The key words in that sentence are ‘tend to be’. There are many people who I don’t respond to simply because their opening lines are overbearing, “Hey let’s hang out and snuggle,” are offensive, “You would look great on my <insert phraseology here>,” or are brainless, “Hey – what’s your name babe?” Really, these are all taken from my account. There are also people who are abrasive and these are the ones that floor me the most.
Recently, I received a several paragraph long opening attacking my preference in Harry Potter movies. Really. It put down my choice of favorites for a multitude of reasons, some of which I could understand. But, they are my favorites and I don’t feel that I need to explain myself to most of my friends – let alone a complete stranger. As it was, I responded with a very dry statement where I did explain my opinion in very basic terms. The person then continued the debate and was blocked. While I like a good debate, I don’t consider it to be an effective pick up line.
Whenever you are going to speak to someone for the first time online, remember this is your first impression. Your profile is the same sort of first impression as seeing someone on the street. It’s not a true test of character. Your hello is your first impression. If you’re abrasive, arrogant, crass, etc – that is going to be the way the person is going to think you are all the time. Be sure to put your best foot forward, otherwise you may wind up further away from your goal than you were before you said hello.