Me and my heart

Recently, I was telling a friend about Mandy. We played through various scenarios. Was she a con? Did I step into something bigger with the homeless shelters? 

I told him that people thought I was inspiring, and that it felt weird. It’s not like I did anything that was permanent. Just a meal here and some conversation there. I worked with the national allience for the homeless and project home, but in the end nothing changed. 

He turned to me and told me the inspiration stemmed from the fact that I did anything at all. That I had a heart and I let it show.

When I was a child, I Loved the Tin Man from the Wizard of Oz. It didn’t have to be the movie either. The whole concept of the Tin Man delighted me and was my first crush. He had s heart. He used it and it broke.

It’s like my experiences using my heart. I show it.I use it. And just like with Mandy, it becomes broken. 

Today I was approached for ‘help getting a meal’, I had a Subway gift card w approx $5 left on it. Damn that heart, throbbing in my soul. I gave him the gift card. If he really wants food, he should have it. I keep forgetting it’s in there anyway. If it he didnt really want food… Well I’ve been taken for a fool for bigger things. 

And I just don’t seem to learn. And my resting bitch face is still a smile. And my heart still hurts. 

 

 

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